Yes. Premarital work is most useful when things are calm, not when tensions are high. Unspoken assumptions about money, career sacrifices, in-laws, or how fast you want life to move can quietly build into friction years later. Talking them through now means you start your marriage knowing where you each stand.

That’s expected, and it’s useful. We don’t avoid conflict, we slow it down. When a familiar trigger comes up, I’ll step in before the usual reaction takes over, whether that’s defending, firing back, or shutting down. We look at what’s happening in your body and what you’re protecting in that moment. Practicing this in session helps you catch the cycle at home on your own.

Yes, often. Hesitation is normal, especially if one of you expects to be blamed, labeled, or ganged up on. My role isn’t to referee or decide who’s right. We focus on the push-pull pattern that keeps you both stuck. Once you can both see that the problem is the pattern, not either person, it gets easier to stop defending and start talking.

Our work draws on the Gottman Method, with clear, practical tools. We map the pattern behind the fights that keep coming back, and work directly on the topics where you feel stuck, using specific ways to repair after conflict. We also track what’s changing: calming down faster, talking clearly when stress is high, and rebuilding closeness, both emotional and physical.